 Concerning the tree on Jesus Green, the early morning HIIT class (evidence of which in the photo - that was a few weeks ago, it is pitch black now), The Guru, and the juicy mystery... In the tree again I found myself the strong old guru with loosened bark where my hand had gripped in search of treasure Golden He entered my every cell and I in turn fell blended into wood blissing at my master watching this merging of him in me and me in all soaking up and soaking in dripping with aliveness and roaring in rage that I can’t contain this only be opened extinguished by his exquisite purpose this sparkling gold in all of my cells and the trunk of this soft being sinking me into oneness And why did I rage restless with questions: the future the meaning... It is hope that is killing he said to me later But the answer the answer is there between the golden sparkles between my cells within the unraveling this longing this power this becoming which knows everything. Can we slaughter the mind on the girth of the tree nail our poison resistance to being this free? I am loving this Guru, this learning I am loving this unity of existence Take me back to the tree push me further melt me inwards and stay
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One of the unremarked aspects of Madonna’s legacy, in my opinion, is the fact that many of her lyrics are exceptionally devotional. She is remembered for the controversy, the pushing of boundaries about women were allowed to express, but also, she intuitively understood the nature of the Divine Lover and the blurred line between 'him' and 'Him'. The chastity and absolution that comes with prayerful loving. Aside from the obvious (and controversial at the time) Like a Prayer, we also have : Cherish, True Blue, Rain. Deeper and Deeper. Even the (again, controversial video) Justify my Love. You can see so many of them as potent songs of Shakti to Shiva. Flitting between the Him, and the him. Demanding that the little him shape up (Open your Heart, Express Yourself) to the full glory of what he is capable. As tantrics have always known, this is the mystical power of the conscious female, the yogini. And you wonder where the modern day mystics have gone... They are going where mystics are supposed to go. Check out the scriptwriters, the rock bands, the writers, the poets, the artists, the thought leaders. Look at Lady Gaga. ‘It doesn’t matter if you love him, or capital H-im. Baby you were born this way’. Or the quietly witty video for ‘Judas’. Just because she’s exploring the shadow, doesn’t make her dark. It's a journey to the underworld, like the goddess Inanna. This is what women are supposed to do: feel and express without judgement. Feeling involves throwing a harness on darkness, rawness, pain, and pulling it into the light. Transmuting it through art into something less scary and freeing. There’s a great power in saying: This is how I feel. What are you going to do about it? Heal it, accept it or fix it, but don’t argue with it or deny it. I could go on (and on), but in the meantime, what about the song which inspired this post... True Blue? Go on, have a listen. I bet you’ve forgotten how childlike, innocent and uplifting this song really is. If anyone is asking or anyone is listening and in case I have any say in the matter: I choose you I'm certain - or else I wouldn't bother there is enough love around... I don't know the rules or if favourites are allowed but if I can have one I choose you. Parvati has spoken and, if you ask me she looks like a girl who knows what she wants who eventually gets her way So, for the record I choose you. I haven't lived on leaves and air but feeling the fire of tapasya my substance has become vapour Meet me on Mount Kailash and I'll choose you  Warning: This post contains fruity content (!)  A tale of two lovers...
Imagine this: Our divine couple... Two beloveds, wandering free in the countryside, in the desert, over the sea, have attained sacred union - the eternal inner marriage of hieros gamos. Conjoining, they watched as their essences spiralled round each other, golden, in a double helix, binding them together. Once two, now they are one, communing constantly as a single being in two bodies. Whether together or apart, their energies sing to each other. From their tongues, their energy channels, their love organs - streams of tingling consciousness speaking the mysteries of the universe. They began with wildly different backgrounds, Love is funny like that, but if you asked them now, you would find they have forgotten their starting points. Meeting in the centre they have dissolved their histories, their former selves and opened to the Christ consciousness, the inner soulmate. How old are they? Who can tell? These entwined beings are constantly renewing through the breath of the cosmos that flows between them. Together they have become a love-bomb, dissolving all barriers to Love in their paths. Inspired by the new sensations flowing through them, between each ONE and the Divine, with childlike curiosity they look for new ways to experience more, share more divine communion. What can there be to dislike, to argue with, concerning a love such as theirs? But they have heard rumours, incomprehensible ideas, and it makes them wonder... She takes his hand: My tongue speaks to yours communing like wafer melting into spring and silence So much to say yet no words taking form only rushing like a stream with eager boisterous loving Please be gentle patient What are you saying? This is popping candy deeply throating kissing without touching dissolving your communion with mine Like wafer Like a tongue on pencil sharpener Tingling electric like the stream from your member Can we go to the chapel receive absolution for the love we have with each other? I want to feel it the wafer on my tongue Will it speak to me more or less wiser? Can we go there together and kneel as we offer our tongues to this union? Hold my hand see The priest is on our side No lover of mine is an enemy of devotion Look - we are fine Nothing more than that. Allow yourself to fall and be completely lost.   I bit my tongue three times this week. Owwwww! So I had to ask the glaring question...Why am I biting my effing tongue? What am I not saying? So many parts of our feminine story are missing from the dialogue. The unconditionality, the sensuality, the calling to account. This is the job of Shakti. Embracing the sheer complexity of all that is, has ever been and will always be. Tantra is like forgiveness in motion. It exists because we are all IT, and we are all one, and because there was a Hitler, and there was also an Eva Braun. They are both still here in all of us. Because the role of Shakti is to surrender, to remember, to use her whole self unashamedly, and raise her beloved to a higher place. It's not about rejecting or withholding. It's about kissing and upbraiding in a single breath. Caressing like a lover, and cuffing like a lioness to her cubs. Drawing lines, but going in. This is the power of the feminine. It's time to get our hands dirty, and call our beloved home... Why am I biting my precious tongue? The tongue is an organ of loving Feel the love flow between us The pouring, the gushing The gentle prattling to your sweetheart You just want to be known Confiding in me your lifetimes All of your stories your learnings I have the other half of these The wisdom, understandings I will explain it all, the primal rush The love play The way you slay me How whatever happens I still go to pieces when you play The symphony Between my tongue and my love The harmonics of good, and god-like And what is that! and ninja-sweet attainment I make it ok in you, the god in you The stuff that makes no sense in you Come home to me Why am I biting my precious tongue? Torturing this love organ When we are both speaking through it Giving and receiving When the chiding and forgiveness come in two When you finish my sentences, my being As brother-sister, one-it-y While you tickle all my love organs With your ecstasy, our laughter I have as much to give As to receive I am the engine that makes us go You need to listen to what I say As part of you I find the needle in your hay And know what to do It’s ok You slay me Come home to me I am not biting my precious tongue  You might be wondering why my writing is on the provocative side. Well the thing is, if you don't poke something, you don't see what it's made of. You won't find what unconscious beliefs are lurking unchallenged. You won't see what words and definitions spring to mind when someone's taken aback. If you cause a reaction, at least you have a starting point - you've seen where you stand. If not, a lot of lip service gets paid and no one makes any progress. How many faces of the divine feminine are there? We are beginning to rediscover these widely now through timeless archetypes of the 'goddess'. But how many faces of the feminine are actually allowed to be without attracting censure? You will find that when a woman puts her head above the parapet, she will immediately attract one or more 'definitions'. She may initially even like some of these definitions as they sound quite 'cool', but over time she'll find that they are essentially reductive. They are used to categorise and say, 'I don't have to engage with you fully as a serious being'. 'I know what you are - see I've got a name for it'. This occurs everywhere in our culture, you only need to look at the media to see. It's particularly prevalent in spirituality, where there is an unconscious culture of either the path of an 'aesthetic' or 'respectability'. It's very dualistic, which is what enlightenment purports to take you beyond, yet you see beings who really ought to know better still using stereotypes which are of no help to real women. Ladies, you are allowed to be female in all its guises, but you are also allowed to be not simply female: a whole being. You are allowed to play with many archetypes, and you're allowed to put them down. You are allowed to draw upon your positive male energy as and when required. You're allowed to be a mother, and you're also allowed to be something other. This is a long-y, but it's not boring..... This is not my name And this is not me either Neither one nor the other Nor anything in between You can't catch me like that With a label, with a small love... I dared to love and be dauntless And you called me a goddess You fell for me also So you feared I'm a witch I'm adept in a temple So perhaps it's a priestess I have children at home Now relax - I'm a mother But here comes the clincher: I embrace you as lover... I think you'll find All sorts of names for me now? You moved me You touched me You fired my divinity You wanted me Felt the flame Of innocent purity And as it turns out I'm not brahmacharyi Your expectations Are impossibly low Your responses Incomprehensibly slow Is your maya so great That you can't let go? If I quote a few scriptures You can call me a scholar Then I'll write a few lines And a mystic will be How about You give the lines to me? I have some words You can use: Lioness, leader, Razor-sharp mind Gun-toting, sharp shooting Kind Generous, loving Forgiving, chastising Delivering Lover of wine Guru, disciple Ambivalent everything Devoted, triumphing Shy Total, unwavering Trusting, surrendered Brutal From time to time Naked and soft Susceptible to loving Mover of energy Divine I am Shiva and Shakti Left handed and right Scales in balance But by you undefined As hero and maiden I'll slay you a dragon Then chain myself up And wait while you find me Don't try to contain me To own me with words To you I will not be bound This is my name The nameless ONE So take your angel and your Devi And your devotee and your nun And your good wife and your harlot And unite them into none Let me be empty Let me be loving Let me be free To respond to the truth To the love in you To the joy of infinity This is ME (Funny thing is, I don't think I read Shivoham by Adi Shankaracharya until after I'd written this. If you don't know it, here's a link with translation). You know what they say:  (Knowledge breaks the chains of slavery)
 I am Sati Reborn I have no Money Time Or fame Yet with Singleminded- ness That scares me I am Making Myself Yours We have Enough love To heal The cosmos This is all I have To work with And the Air I breathe… Stop! Turns out This is quite A lot Said Shiva to Shakti..... (Chuckle) 'We'll go all the way to heaven' |
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