It was a while ago my husband was watching the latest Star Wars movie - I forget which, as I’ve sort of lost interest of late. Anyway, by way of making conversation he asked me, ‘Would you be Jedi or Sith?’ And slightly strangely given that I literally grew up on Star Wars and role playing the old movies in the playground, light sabres and all, I said, ‘Sith, Dark Side’.

And he said ‘Yes, I thought so’.

So at least we’re in agreement about that.

And I didn’t really think much more about it, as it was just a bit of banter. But why did I say ‘Dark Side’, I mean those guys are evil, right?

But it was more one of those off the cuff truths in that, what is even worse than Dark for me, is self righteousness, and people who won’t acknowledge their dark side. If you admit to being in darkness, at least you can be saved. If you are self righteous - urgggh. It’s a hard, cold place to be.

Isn’t this the dialectic of humanity? This is why, until the last few of us transcend our duality, there will also be bad guys, playing the role, to teach us humility. It’s like being kept in detention - the bad guy teacher will keep you back until you learn the lesson. And then you realise that they are just you in another guise. A reflection of your own, repressed bad guy.

So what to do?

First, you need to own it - the darkness. Whatever you see in them, is also in you. This ownership gives you compassion, and through compassion, and forgiveness you dissolve the aspect of yourself you judge in others. This then sets them free to let go of the behaviour you dislike.

You need to acknowledge and air the darkness inside you, and find out how to release and transmute it. Your darkness contains your power, authority and highest potential. It’s doing its best to not let you see it at all. It’s trying to annoy the hell out of other people and push them away so that they don’t see it.

You sort of think you know who you are, but the real you, the divine you, is probably more like the opposite of you, even if you’ve been on the spiritual path for a while. Because being divine is nothing like being ‘spiritual’. Being divine is not being ‘moral’. Being divine is completely mindbending to most people because it’s not of the mind - it’s a paradigm shift in way of being. Being divine is not about getting out of here and going somewhere better. If you are divine, in acceptance, are beyond duality, why would you want to be anywhere else?

There are a lot of good reasons to be here.

Once you have transcended polarity, you can play with polarity and actually begin to enjoy it instead of being threatened. It is more fun to manifest from a state of physicality, because you get to play more with the questions: how is the divine going to get this thing to me?

For eons people have disowned the body as being base, as being something to be overcome, something to ultimately leave behind. This is the karma of the spirit, rebelling against the restrictions of the body, the sense of separation. It is the ego that rejects the body, that is too good to be here, to get its hands dirty. It is THE most destructive belief, because it cuts you off from the big story, your own vehicle for accessing the divine. The body is an illusion, but it’s one that can take you home. The wisdom you need is all there, in your DNA, your molecules, in the spaces in between.

But while you think you are somebody, while you are identified as this or that, you are not in your highest power. While you are identified as ‘this’, by definition you are not ‘that’ and therefore in separation. If you embrace and heal all of yourself, you are much closer to embracing and healing all of that which you see in others.
Your dark side contains the gift. The part of you that is your strongest asset.

What is your greatest weakness, your biggest bugbear, your repetitive Groundhog Day ‘I can’t get past this’ karma?
It could be your greatest strength.
​

​Have you noticed
how women worship with their bodies?
and how others 
are unkind?

Those tears at the feet
of the anointed one…
Bittersweet
mingling 
with rich perfume 
tended with kisses
pouring forth 
from alabaster
in total response
to Beauty

Hair unravelling
damp from caressing
unmindful who’s watching
this private 
act of Love

This woman:
pure in devotion 
absolving all
with a moment
of mystery
Vignette of passion
all but lost 
on those attending
Nothing of sense
for the mind

Did the women 
see it differently
absorbing silently
with their own bodies
her eternal darshan ?

And if you should see 
a woman
moved by guileless ecstasy
confounding 
your customs
and your heart
Will you join her in touching
the Kingdom?
with kisses 
and tears
hair flowing
love dissolving
in kind
-Mataji
​

Or, how to make love to life...

When I first began my spiritual journey as an adult, I have to admit didn’t actually have ecstasy as a goal. Ascension - yes, mastery, definitely, wisdom - absolutely, but ecstasy wasn’t really something I had on my list, because I would have defined mastery etc. more in terms of absence - absence of pain and suffering, feeling good and whole, experiencing flow, peace etc.
But I hadn’t really been led, by anyone I’d learned from, to expect states of extreme pleasure, communion and totality.
I hadn’t been led either, to think that ecstasy could be a tool to experience more of those other good things. Tantra for me has become an attitude to life. When I experience resistance in certain areas, I feel in and let the ecstasy do the work in healing and unblocking so that bit by bit more of life becomes ‘ecstasy-compatible’.

When I first opened to ecstasy, many of the elements were familiar, whereas others were completely new. I think it is helpful, if the concept of ecstasy resonates with you, to know what you are aiming for, and which states and experiences to develop. It is like joining the dots. You start with isolated incidents, then they ripple out, joining into each other to create a state which you can dip into at any time.

Ecstasy is a state of non duality where you can observe polarity but simultaneously hold two poles, understandings, opinions, in your consciousness, with appreciation but without judgement. You reach a point where the one enhances the other and you understand that both are a part of the whole, of what is divine. You can feel this rippling through your body.

Ecstasy has infinite moods and layers. It is literally all of existence, every feeling, every experience, transmuted into divine pleasure and communion. The more of yourself you can allow, can open to, the greater your capacity for the many ‘threads’ and harmonics of ecstasy.

So, these are some of the elements of ecstasy. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a good place to start...

Primal Joy
Joy without boundaries. Childlike. Just because you are IT and this is IT. Touching joy in another at being alive and observing the primal nature that brings you together.

Compassion
For ecstasy this is a key element. It is much more important than ‘love’, which is an overused term to the point of being meaningless for many. Compassion for another opens you to the depths and layers of feeling that will melt you at your core and bridge the polarity that separates you.

Complexity
The more complex a situation, relationship, an appreciation, the greater its potential to teach you ecstasy. The fact that you need to hold awareness of many different appreciations at once which may seem impossible to resolve into black and white, right and wrong, forces you simultaneously into simplicity - checking out your mind and seeing only with your presence.

Poignancy
Dipping into your emotional reservoir - the feelings you’ve healed, those which are unresolved, those that others are going through to which you can relate. The songs we sing, the stories we tell. The histories. What it means to be human AND divine.

Feeling x-y.
Not necessarily sexy, just alive and full of creative power. Power to heal, power to be vulnerable, power to surrender, power to explore the shadow, power to accept. Appreciating everything in its finest, many layered potential. Not judging.

Bliss
A quieter state on which to build. Do you attain this in meditation? Where else does this crop up in your life? Talking to animals, after a yoga class, massage or Reiki treatment? For me, for years, inexplicably, this was induced by sitting with a cup of tea and my favourite catalogue. Practice imagining yourself in that state until you can tap into it just by focus.

Innocence
Accepting your place in it all. Your childlike self, your divinity. Being humble yet curious. Infinite yet finite. Primal yet harmless.

Humour and delight
The kind of humour where someone adores you but can’t help teasing. A precocious child who says something gorgeous and you are not sure whether to weep or giggle. When you see a kitten and want to give it’s tail a tweak...

Pain
Especially this. You need to allow yourself to look at pain and surrender to it. If you try to shut yourself off from pain or other difficult emotions, if you resist them, you are also shutting yourself off from ecstasy and higher states. We need to own what it means to be human. This is the hardest element for the ego to swallow. When Babaji first showed me this it made part of me very uneasy. But if you want to own your birthright, you need to be able to look at pain with the perspective of deity, of everything being ultimately ok from the perspective of eternity, not of the individual stuck in illusion. Feel into pain, don’t resist it, express it, then access that higher perspective and work on transmuting it into one or more of the other elements.

Devotion
If you do not feel this is ‘you’ (I didn’t used to), try starting with love and compassion. Think about it. Are there certain tasks you devote yourself to easily? Do you feel this more easily around certain people? A lover? A child? A mentor? Start where you find it, then spread it outwards. The goal of devotion is not to put the ‘other’ on a pedestal and make yourself wretched, but is in fact an act of enormous self esteem (big Self), which allows you to dissolve into communion with the other and puts you in a receptive state (also try my Divine Lover Bhakti playlist for more on this).

​So those, for me, are the key elements of ecstasy.
​Add to these a healthy dose of surrender, gratitude and inner connection, and you’re on the right track.

We’re nearing the end of the year, and for many this is a time for reflection: on where they are, on where they are going, on how far they’ve come.


If this is you, I would like to suggest trying something a bit different this year (read all the way to the bottom)...


This year, don’t ‘learn’ any lessons.


Don’t learn anything.


Only breathe.


If you learn anything, learn to be deeply meditative. Become the observer of your life.


‘Learning’ implies judgement, that a greater wisdom is now achieved. It will get you so far, learning lessons, but even this kind of wisdom is linear, a part of the illusion of existence, the ‘before and after’ story you tell of yourself.


You are still identified with the ‘you’, not the I AM. The I AM always knows, always knew, always loved unconditionally.


What happens if you stop looking for meaning, for the moral of the story, for signs? Many people have accepted that there is no such thing as a ‘mistake’ in their life, only a learning, but what lies behind even that ‘learning’?


Just be. Just observe. Just allow.


If you are learning from the past, you are bringing the past into the present which means you are not being totally present. This is not the most empowering stance, because it does not allow you to enter into the magic space of self love. Complete self love is to accept the perfect imperfection that manifests as your life. You can honour the past, without feeling the need to react to it.


If you can’t release yourself from the past, how can you release yourself in the now, release yourself from fear of making mistakes? How can you release yourself from fear of negative repercussions or ‘punishment’ for ‘bad’ choices? You are the best you can be right now.


Don’t learn any ‘lessons’, but do learn to feel. Without reference to the past, what do you feel like doing today? Feel with your whole being rather than thinking with your mind. Feel with your toes. What wants to happen through you right now? Where is your compassion pointing? Dig deep. What is the highest compassion you can access?


Don’t learn any lessons. Start unlearning everything if you want to experience freedom. It’s the only way into the now and the power that lies therein. You AM. We AM. From this still point of observation, of unconditionality, what can you co-create?


Instead of the ‘life lesson’ paradigm, allow yourself to experience fully, let each experience penetrate your knowing, feel the pleasure, the pain without pushing it away, without judgement, denial or analysis. Let it seep into your consciousness with compassion. Once you’ve done this, you can let your now moment do the talking. If you are in presence, your choices will become more enlightened without needing to judge or ‘learn’. You will sooner or later feel like doing something slightly different. This is the quickest way to evolve your consciousness - without causing blockages of guilt, regret, condemnation and fear.


Let your experiences go without judgement or drama. If ‘negative’, thank them for being a part of your existence. Acknowledge the feelings moving through you, and refrain from analysing your choices. Why is it good or ‘bad’ in the first place? This is the portal into dissolving your karma, to accept your desires, your humanity without drama or punishment. No lessons learned, only service, only life, only being in the moment and observing gratitude.


If you unite yourself with the ONE in divine union instead of your individual little ‘me’, become the I AM, what can become of that little me? What can you do ‘wrong’ if you are in a state of compassion with the Lover, the Divine?


Don’t learn anything. Be faithful to the divine spark in you. Breathe, and ask yourself what you want to do now.


......


I remember writing this poem down during the summer, one hot day standing in the queue for the outdoor swimming pool on Jesus Green with my daughters. This was before the current shift which I’m describing above, hence the word ‘learning’, but I don’t feel inclined to change it now. The softness of the meaning is still present. I hope you like it.
Happy New Year.


Karma is a quiet master
a gentle sweetheart
healing with grace
touching your voice
I AM both the lesson
and the learner
the teacher
who appeals to
higher dharma
Support each other
through your learning
What you forge
as family
You carry this
a love story
beyond the hurts
the grievances
Be loose, free
and marry
-Babaji

I’ve been working through a lot of issues of victimhood that I didn’t know I had. I started to realise that in the regime the guru guided me to, he wants the victim well and truly knocked out of me. It’s like bootcamp. I’ve never done everything on the list before, all at the SAME TIME. One by one I’ve come off all of my stimulants : coffee, then black tea, then green tea. I haven’t had a drink in several weeks. Sugar went by the wayside. I started a fitness regime. I started taking all my supplements religiously. I started cleaning my house top to bottom, sorting and deep cleaning.

Even though I’m not done yet, I’ve been able to make certain observations along the way.

When I gave something up, I felt like a victim.
The guru banned me from fasting for a time, saying he wanted me to nourish myself. I felt as if I was force feeding, and cue feeling like a victim.
I was told to fast again. I found myself feeling like a victim.
The guru told me to join a choir. I joined two.
They are great. Uplifting, balancing, bonding, but part of me felt like a victim as I am now so busy I don’t know where to look.
The guru said that’s how he wanted me: busy, so that I didn’t have time to think.
I still had time to feel like a victim.

This is not about poor me. I am having a great time, and my sense of assurance is increasing with each week that passes, but this is about the bits in between. Someone doesn’t acknowledge me, I feel like a victim. I learn to love my daughters more deeply and instead of enjoying it, I start worrying more about their wellbeing = victim.
Someone else is down or having a hard time...I’m an empath so part of me feels like a victim.
If you don’t like my social post, I’ll feel like a victim. If too many of you do I’ll also make myself a victim.

When I studied Health Kinesiology a few years back, I came across an energy correction called ‘being / not being’. These corrections deal with the phenomenon of people not being able to find a state which is safe for them. For example ‘being angry’ is stressful, and ‘not being angry’ is also stressful. ‘Being healthy’ is stressful and ‘not being healthy’ is also stressful. It’s very common. If you are stressed, on some level you are being a victim. There is more than one way to tackle just about anything, but it makes you think, doesn’t it? You are overweight and take action to reduce it, then suddenly everyone around you without fail is concerned you will ‘overdo it’. Where can you find your balance if you are not ‘safe’ anywhere?

When I empower, none of this happens. It is like flicking a switch. Nothing has changed in my life, but ‘too busy’ becomes ‘abundant’. ‘Demanding’ people become people I can serve and empower. ‘Annoying’ people become people with whom I can guide, teach or share wisdom. ‘Threatening’ people become people with whom I can co-create. I find my quiet in my centre.

The ‘victim’ is getting really boring. I don’t like false deadlines, yet I have given myself until the end of the year to finish off all the half-finished jobs I’ve started, even if I have to stay up half the night. The uplift will be worth it. Osho defines karma as incompleted action, and when I first read that some years ago, I wasn’t entirely sure I could relate. But now, yes.

I still need to be at ONE with my humanity and limitations. Nothing is ever done. There will always be something undone, so it’s a balance between taking control, and surrendering to the moment and how things are, in itself a form of completion.

How to find this balance?
​
For me it’s about listening to the moment, feeling it in the body, feet on the ground and energising. Not trying to be in the future where the job is ‘done’, but enjoying the DOING as an act of BEING. This is completion. This is grace and peace and gratitude and all the good things. In this state I float effortlessly from one task to the next knowing that I’ll be empowered to deal effectively with it.

I like this place. I hope the 'victim' is listening.
​

Concerning the tree on Jesus Green, the early morning HIIT class (evidence of which in the photo - that was a few weeks ago, it is pitch black now), The Guru, and the juicy mystery...

In the tree again
I found myself
the strong old guru
with loosened bark
where my hand had gripped
in search of treasure
Golden He entered
my every cell
and I in turn
fell blended into wood
blissing at my master
watching this merging
of him in me
and me in all
soaking up and soaking in
dripping with aliveness
and roaring in rage
that I can’t contain this
only be opened
extinguished
by his exquisite purpose
this sparkling gold
in all of my cells
and the trunk of this soft being
sinking me into oneness
And why did I rage
restless with questions:
the future
the meaning...
It is hope that is killing
he said to me later
But the answer
the answer
is there between
the golden sparkles
between my cells
within the unraveling
this longing
this power
this becoming
which knows everything.
Can we slaughter the mind
on the girth of the tree
nail our poison
resistance
to being this free?
I am loving this
Guru, this learning
I am loving this unity of existence
Take me back to the tree
push me further
melt me inwards
and stay


​

Let me tell you a secret. I am a mess. I am not ‘together’ at all. I look together on the outside. My life is looking pretty good at the moment. But I am not together. I am falling apart, one piece at a time, or sometimes a whole load of them just start to cleave off in one go. That’s when it gets crunchy. The other day I sort of found myself deciding whether to have a breakdown or not. It could have gone either way. But just like the other times I’ve been in that position, there was too much of me conscious to really go there wholeheartedly. And it's a bit too much drama for my taste. Better to just voluntarily give up and let go. That feels better. Crisis over. I’m a mess, I’m a failure. Generous, loving, but still an asshole at times.

I heal people as I go around without having much control over it anymore and sometimes, as an empath, it makes me trigger and I am still learning how to manage the level of perception I feel. I feel awful for no apparent reason other than that I’m letting go, rather than holding it in. I’m not trying to be cool, but from the outside I’m 'performing' better than ever before without even thinking about it. I feel anxious because when I look around there’s very little else holding me back any more. I read somewhere recently that if the path in front of you is trodden, it’s probably not yours. SO TRUE. I do and experience things ever day that make me weep, make me sublime, make me dissolve, and none of it makes sense. I keep getting married. It doesn’t make any sense. But it’s too compelling to give up now.

I have recently joined a rock choir. For those of you not in the UK, this is a bit like a Glee. It is satisfying and soothing in so many ways, not only for the singing of Footloose and Can't Stop the Feeling in four-part harmony with choreography, but also for the fact it meets in the local church, and we’re all standing there singing to the crucifix at the end. I'm not Catholic, but but y'know, crucifixes have been growing on me lately... Anyhow, I was there last week, just enjoying the experience, and I looked up and thought - He doesn’t look as if he has it all together.... But appearances can be deceptive. The key theme I have running through me at the moment is power, influence and authority. Do you need to look cool, together and badass to have this, or do you allow yourself to come undone? I found myself coming a little undone in the choir rehearsal. And then that night it continued. I read some post on Facebook that made me feel off-centre so instead of trying to resist and figure it out, I just opted back out into that gnosis state. I spent the night going deeper. My guides took me back to the church where I became one with the church itself, the walls, the chairs, the crucifix on the wall. Just feeling into the waves and ripples that made all these solid items. The bliss of dissolving into nothing. The point they made was, who has more power and influence? The one who is together, who looks in control, or the one who knows they can penetrate all things with their influence? The authority comes with letting go.

I’m like the person on the assault course who’s crawling through the mud, and then there’s a big wall ahead, and I just stop. Why is it better at the top of the wall, on the other side of the wall? What is wrong with just lying here quietly in the mud? Feeling into the mud, my body in it, looking up and seeing the sky, becoming one with even the wall. There is no need to go anywhere as I can feel it all in this state of compassion. And what happens to the wall? It just disappears, and it’s like, you can go through now. And I’m like, actually I’m ok here, I’m not sure why I thought I needed to go through but if you say so...

This is a bit like my life now.

My mind is checking out. So ciao, see ya! I hope you weren’t attached to me with my mind.

I go into my mind and I can’t string a sentence together. To be honest I never could. I switch off my mind and just turn up and open my mouth and something coherent comes out. I know where I’ve been going wrong all this time....

Luckily, losing your mind is a good thing in spiritual terms.
​
I go into my mind with an issue and it shouts random words at me like a perverse word association game. They say when you are drowning your life flashes before your eyes - this has been going on for a while... I look at someone and my mind delivers a name that is not theirs - Jessica becomes Sarah, Emily becomes Jenny, Nicki becomes Natasha, I become Wendy, and so on.
But, there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t want a diagnosis because in your diagnosis is always an implied judgement. I don’t want to be fixed. I want to be loved the way you love a rose. I want to be held and told it will all be ok. There’s nothing wrong with me. Finito.

Go deeper, I tell myself.
Giggle.
Melt.
Transfigure.

More and more, the message I am getting is to FAIL. Allow it. When I fail, give up, everything shifts. Sometimes from minute to minute, sometimes overnight. How else are you going to dissolve your ego? Too many people are holding on to a half life instead of living. How can you define a successful life? I am hot out of seeing Bohemian Rhapsody at the cinema - Freddie Mercury died at the age of 45. Successful life or unsuccessful? To me, successful is surrendering to your poem, your part in the tapestry of humanity that you came here to weave. If you try to be together, chances are you will probably hover on the edges of success but never actually benefit from that full swell of feeling the wind behind you when you seize your moment.

Fail better, Fail harder. Fail nobler. And let the universe fill in the gaps. It's MUCH bigger than you are.

You’re Welcome 😎
In case you haven’t yet had the pleasure, that’s a song from the Disney movie, Moana.
The Demi-god, Maui, has a tattoo telling the story of every feat he’s achieved for mankind. It’s a kind of a send-up, he’s a bit ‘entitled’, but I picked this up, because I wanted to go deeply into this question: how do we really get stuff done around here?

About three years ago when my beloved friends upstairs started working with me, I was discussing a book I’d read with them, and they started laughing. I asked, what is so funny, let me in on the joke, and they said, it’s funny because you wrote it. And no, I didn’t actually put pen to paper and write it, but, you know, you’re welcome. It had my vibe in it. So after momentary puzzlement I caught on, and said, ok, if I wrote that, this other series is definitely me. Bingo! I thought of another, they said ‘no’, but again laughing - it’s someone you know... I looked at the tone, it was a little bleaker, darker. After a few days of going through every person I’d ever met, I had it. You’re welcome on her behalf.

What I’m trying to say is, there are soul families, and higher selves, and when you start to identify with that higher self, become that, just as you become that ‘I AM’, you start to see your influence, feel influence passing through your consciousness.

Sometimes I hear the line of a poem, or a piece of wisdom in my head, and I think - wow, that sounds good. Is it mine? And I have to google it, to check whether it’s someone else’s quote or not before I use it.
The question is, how much does it matter? The ego wants to claim credit, to be recognised, and it is right in my opinion to give credit to the instrument, the channel, as long as the source is also recognised. But it is getting busy down here. I can’t speak for you, but there is a lot of ‘me’ around. And if you don’t see yourself as me (yet), then who? There is a quote I like from A Course in Miracles:

"If you want to be like me, I will help you, knowing we are alike. If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind.’’

At what point do we stop thinking of ourselves as individuals, and start really understanding what it means to be a collective? One ME, many faces.

So, another example. As you know if you follow football, or perhaps even if you don’t, this year was the World Cup. Just before it started, I was musing telepathically to a guy over there in a different part of the world, that England can never seem to win a penalty shoot out. He’s interested in sport, unlike me, and also in clearing karma. And I just wondered at him, what it would take to clear that kind of karma - not just that of the team itself, but the expectations and attachment of the whole nation watching, and the history of failure, and were we ready to clear it? And I didn't really think any more of it. And then, of course, England did win against Colombia, the first penalty shootout win at a World Cup, ever.
You’re welcome.
(Just kidding - it was probably the other guy).
But it shows, we are only just beginning to learn about the real possibilities of conscious co-creation.
Did I just pick up on the healing passing through, or did I become part of that instrument? I don’t even expect the person I was talking to to be conscious of our little ‘chat’, but if I flagged it to him he might, just as I was when my guides mentioned the book. I’m not dismissing the team, the coach, the training of course, but who else had a hand in it that neither of us is aware of? 
I speak to a lot of teachers and gurus on the airwaves. I thank them for their wisdoms. I make observations, suggestions. They make them back. Healings have come spontaneously through me and vice versa. I see some of my suggestions being put into action by them, even though we’ve never spoken in person. Sometimes I need to pinch myself, it’s so startling and quick.

And you’re welcome.

So we come back to our question again, how do we really get stuff done around here?
I guess it’s all about who you know....
I mean, we have a sky-full of ascended masters up there, each with their own specialisms, spiritual offices and areas of authority. Each of those has probably got a whole family of themselves down here right now, with varying degrees of actualisation. The more they actualise, the more in line with the higher self you’d expect them to be. Channeling books, therapies, healing, grid work....is there any essential difference between me ‘up there’, and me down here? Sooner or later, the channel becomes one with the master, and the master merges into the ONE.
It’s always a co-creation. Some people will accuse you of ego if you start to say things like this, but actually, ask yourself the question - is it more damaging to your little self, your identity, to say ‘thank you’, or ‘you’re welcome’? Play with it. Both are necessary, and both are fun, and both are essentially the same.


On the flip side, the human psyche often resists acknowledging where an idea has come from.
Steve Jobs was apparently notorious for this - resisting other people’s ideas, then claiming them as his own.
First he would hate it, say it’s the worst idea he’d ever heard, then the next week he would back in the office saying, ‘I’ve got this great idea’... and it was someone else's and he had no remembrance at all that it came from them.

I’ve had conversations (out loud), where I’ve said something to someone, and they’ve pushed back against what I’ve said. And then a few weeks later they’ve come back and told me what’s shifted for them, and it’s exactly what I was telling them, and they have no apparent memory of that conversation.
But hey, you’re welcome.

We all learn from each other, but half the time it’s so unconscious, that it doesn’t even register except on a pure energetic level. This is how evolution gets around the ego. Personally I try to be conscious of the deliverer of an idea, even if it’s several with similar themes. Often it’s only as they integrate that I find myself thinking - hmm, I felt resistant to that person’s perspective when I first heard it.
​
I started this post worrying about claiming too much credit, but now I think it’s definitely time to start claiming some of that back.
So...
Whatever it was, you’re welcome. 
I hope you see where I’m coming from.
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Demanding that the little him shape up (Open your Heart, Express Yourself) to the full glory of what he is capable. As tantrics have always known, this is the mystical power of the conscious female, the yogini.

And you wonder where the modern day mystics have gone... They are going where mystics are supposed to go. Check out the scriptwriters, the rock bands, the writers, the poets, the artists, the thought leaders. Look at Lady Gaga. ‘It doesn’t matter if you love him, or capital H-im. Baby you were born this way’. Or the quietly witty video for ‘Judas’. Just because she’s exploring the shadow, doesn’t make her dark. It's a journey to the underworld, like the goddess Inanna. This is what women are supposed to do: feel and express without judgement. Feeling involves throwing a harness on darkness, rawness, pain, and pulling it into the light. Transmuting it through art into something less scary and freeing. There’s a great power in saying: This is how I feel. What are you going to do about it? Heal it, accept it or fix it, but don’t argue with it or deny it.

I could go on (and on), but in the meantime, what about the song which inspired this post... True Blue?
Go on, have a listen. I bet you’ve forgotten how childlike, innocent and uplifting this song really is.
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As promised, we have a brand new playlist! 

You know, back in the day I would have made you a mix tape...but this is more portable.

This juicy playlist is called Guilty Pleasures...

It’s designed to be played at full volume with lots of raucous dancing, jumping up and down, singing at the top of your voice. It is perfect for shadow body healing.

When healing the shadow body, guilty pleasures need to be embraced and integrated.

You need to stop holding yourself tightly, keeping yourself ‘together’ and feel expansive.
Give yourself permission to feel childlike and joyful.
Accept your primal nature and any tension you perceive between your enjoyment and your mind.

As with the previous playlist, these songs have been rigorously tested in the Tantra Mataji kitchen and you can be assured that they rate highly on the Ecstasy-O-Meter.

When you’ve got this little lot out of your system, try meditating right after. I bet it will be a good one - you’ll find it much easier to quiet your mind and savour your inner peace.


Enjoy!
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