I promised myself a while back, if I ever got a taste of enlightenment, I'd try to describe what it feels like. Because if you're on a path, I think it's helpful to know what you're aiming for. And because despite everything, I didn't really find a good description anywhere, or at least anything that resembled what my experience was like in order to explain it. So my question was, either those doing the talking are missing something, not sharing, or on a different trajectory. Words like 'bliss', 'peace', 'rapture' and 'ecstasy' get flung around, but what does that actually mean? 'Ecstasy' is a word invented by people who don't experience a lot of it, and we just have to make do with inadequate vocabulary. It's my belief that in the higher realms there are probably entire languages devoted to expressing the many flavours, tones, harmonics, subtleties and varieties of love experience. I've been reminded recently how good it actually is. It's: peaceful, passionate, playful, tender, physical, total, dissolving, ecstatic, rapturous, prayerful, blissful, kissful, ravishing, caressing, extinguishing, re-birthing, romantic... And much more (like I said - inadequacy of words) It's not just about chasing inner peace. And I reckon that's worth a bit of inner work and meditation...
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I seem to be developing criteria for songs which make it onto this blog, one of which is 'makes hair stand on end'. I could easily not add any commentary to this video, and just say 'ooooh', but in the interests of un-splaining, just a few thoughts.... We are all manifestations of the ONE The ONE has many lovers We all remember each other We are all eternally COOL with this We are all healed We are all friends The poignancy adds to the ultimate ecstasy We are all IN LOVE What is your relationship with the divine? Father? Mother? Friend? Spirit? What about Lover? Like really? Can you make love to your vision of God? Just the two of you? (Warning: your ego and shadow body won't like this at all. They will tell you all kinds of stories about why this is a big dangerous idea. If you're ready to take those fellas on, read more...) Sexual union is the highest form of worship because it implies complete acceptance. Think about it. If you were to make love to your deity, you would have to accept everything that the deity is and stands for (hard). You would also find you have to accept everything that you are - your humanity, physically, sexuality (even harder), and accept that you are accepted, even adored, for being just as you are (mind blowing). Just imagine. It would take years off your spiritual journey. You would be forced to integrate your shadow self and find yourself a more whole, total being for it. You would never have another bad relationship, because you’d have the gold standard to measure it against and no one could take that away from you. I don’t want to give anyone crazy ideas, but who do you call out for in your most intimate moments? Is the divine present? Who is the face of the Lover? Are they separate or are they ONE? If the Divine is your sweetheart, you will very quickly start to see all of life in a very different way. Like I said, don't get any crazy ideas...
I bit my tongue three times this week. Owwwww! So I had to ask the glaring question...Why am I biting my effing tongue? What am I not saying? So many parts of our feminine story are missing from the dialogue. The unconditionality, the sensuality, the calling to account. This is the job of Shakti. Embracing the sheer complexity of all that is, has ever been and will always be. Tantra is like forgiveness in motion. It exists because we are all IT, and we are all one, and because there was a Hitler, and there was also an Eva Braun. They are both still here in all of us. Because the role of Shakti is to surrender, to remember, to use her whole self unashamedly, and raise her beloved to a higher place. It's not about rejecting or withholding. It's about kissing and upbraiding in a single breath. Caressing like a lover, and cuffing like a lioness to her cubs. Drawing lines, but going in. This is the power of the feminine. It's time to get our hands dirty, and call our beloved home... Why am I biting my precious tongue? The tongue is an organ of loving Feel the love flow between us The pouring, the gushing The gentle prattling to your sweetheart You just want to be known Confiding in me your lifetimes All of your stories your learnings I have the other half of these The wisdom, understandings I will explain it all, the primal rush The love play The way you slay me How whatever happens I still go to pieces when you play The symphony Between my tongue and my love The harmonics of good, and god-like And what is that! and ninja-sweet attainment I make it ok in you, the god in you The stuff that makes no sense in you Come home to me Why am I biting my precious tongue? Torturing this love organ When we are both speaking through it Giving and receiving When the chiding and forgiveness come in two When you finish my sentences, my being As brother-sister, one-it-y While you tickle all my love organs With your ecstasy, our laughter I have as much to give As to receive I am the engine that makes us go You need to listen to what I say As part of you I find the needle in your hay And know what to do It’s ok You slay me Come home to me I am not biting my precious tongue There is a lot of chatter about 'abundance' these days on the airwaves. A lot of talk about removing blockages to this abundance. What they are usually talking about is financial 'success' aka performance, and often a successful romantic relationship. If you're really lucky you'll meet your 'twin flame'... The trouble is, these desires are mostly a result of projection, and therefore lack. You want these things to compensate for what you don't currently have as a permanent state. Try thinking about abundance in a different way. How much bliss do you experience when you meditate? How many layers of appreciation do you feel when you listen to a piece of music or watch a movie? How deeply into your own body can you go and how much of the universe can you find there? How many nerve endings are activated when you interact with another who is not your lover. How much self-compassion do you have? When you start to truly have abundance in this inner way, you could choose to live in a cave and feel as if you have the whole world. For me, abundance is characterised by a pomegranate seed. It's a little red, juicy jewel in which you can find everything. Try looking at one with appreciation. When I was teaching myself this, I spent some time clocking little 'jewels' that I found in my life, and endowing them with appreciation, collecting them like trinkets - gifts to me from the Beloved. It's a good practice - how much 'juice' can you squeeze out of a little pleasure? Can you find pleasure in something you would normally resist? Make it into a game. When abundance really happens, it would be unusual for your external circumstances to not reflect this. But that's not why you do it, because a critical aspect of this is surrender and letting go. You let go of your performance-led goals, and start living like a poet or an artist. Celebrate your own creativity in any way that pleases you. If you treat yourself with something nice, do it in full consciousness out of self-compassion and make sure you enjoy every drop. Re-define abundance, and it will be more likely to work with you. I wrote a poem about these jewels of abundance a while back. Always a good reminder..... Jewels that I find: Shining pomegranate seeds Raspberry-laden bush Sweet watermelon French fancies, battenburg and Swiss roll Our love in these Abundantly smiling Like rubies and pearls Shared moments of laughter Sparkling rosé Glasses clinking and tinkling You make me coffee And I kiss you Said Shiva to Shakti..... (Chuckle) 'We'll go all the way to heaven' The places you make love to me
In blind sight The plump pillow that catches my cheek Wilting my will The bliss of stillness Kissing with tingles The low ache of pleasure Caressing my back Losing myself In each asana Sharp pleasure of presence Your brush at my curl Behind my ear The songs you play For all to hear While I quietly weep The little smile we share The cool water you offer My heart For air The giddy barefoot lightness Of freedom When I'm wearing my shoes The way you cover me While I sleep The languor of laying with you Breaking from working The emptiness I dedicate to you The constant peace Of a moment shared The tear of ecstasy When I close my eyes And breathe The inner sigh Can anyone see? These are the places You make love to me |
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Tantra Mataji | confidence - freedom - passion |