You might think these two videos don't belong in the same playlist, but I like to mix things up when I'm playing on YouTube. The first video is pretty mix-y already, but I've thrown in some Diana Ross for good measure. I discovered this version of the Naat Sharif for the first time today, and it's rather beautiful and haunting. You find out a lot about yourself when you do this. How does it make you feel to listen to each of these? What about in quick succession? Do they belong together or not? Is your mind trying to come to an opinion or judgement so that you can neatly file your reaction? Can you let your mind relax and absorb the totality of both? Which of the videos makes you feel more? Is either of them ringing your bell today?
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You might be wondering why my writing is on the provocative side. Well the thing is, if you don't poke something, you don't see what it's made of. You won't find what unconscious beliefs are lurking unchallenged. You won't see what words and definitions spring to mind when someone's taken aback. If you cause a reaction, at least you have a starting point - you've seen where you stand. If not, a lot of lip service gets paid and no one makes any progress. How many faces of the divine feminine are there? We are beginning to rediscover these widely now through timeless archetypes of the 'goddess'. But how many faces of the feminine are actually allowed to be without attracting censure? You will find that when a woman puts her head above the parapet, she will immediately attract one or more 'definitions'. She may initially even like some of these definitions as they sound quite 'cool', but over time she'll find that they are essentially reductive. They are used to categorise and say, 'I don't have to engage with you fully as a serious being'. 'I know what you are - see I've got a name for it'. This occurs everywhere in our culture, you only need to look at the media to see. It's particularly prevalent in spirituality, where there is an unconscious culture of either the path of an 'aesthetic' or 'respectability'. It's very dualistic, which is what enlightenment purports to take you beyond, yet you see beings who really ought to know better still using stereotypes which are of no help to real women. Ladies, you are allowed to be female in all its guises, but you are also allowed to be not simply female: a whole being. You are allowed to play with many archetypes, and you're allowed to put them down. You are allowed to draw upon your positive male energy as and when required. You're allowed to be a mother, and you're also allowed to be something other. This is a long-y, but it's not boring..... This is not my name And this is not me either Neither one nor the other Nor anything in between You can't catch me like that With a label, with a small love... I dared to love and be dauntless And you called me a goddess You fell for me also So you feared I'm a witch I'm adept in a temple So perhaps it's a priestess I have children at home Now relax - I'm a mother But here comes the clincher: I embrace you as lover... I think you'll find All sorts of names for me now? You moved me You touched me You fired my divinity You wanted me Felt the flame Of innocent purity And as it turns out I'm not brahmacharyi Your expectations Are impossibly low Your responses Incomprehensibly slow Is your maya so great That you can't let go? If I quote a few scriptures You can call me a scholar Then I'll write a few lines And a mystic will be How about You give the lines to me? I have some words You can use: Lioness, leader, Razor-sharp mind Gun-toting, sharp shooting Kind Generous, loving Forgiving, chastising Delivering Lover of wine Guru, disciple Ambivalent everything Devoted, triumphing Shy Total, unwavering Trusting, surrendered Brutal From time to time Naked and soft Susceptible to loving Mover of energy Divine I am Shiva and Shakti Left handed and right Scales in balance But by you undefined As hero and maiden I'll slay you a dragon Then chain myself up And wait while you find me Don't try to contain me To own me with words To you I will not be bound This is my name The nameless ONE So take your angel and your Devi And your devotee and your nun And your good wife and your harlot And unite them into none Let me be empty Let me be loving Let me be free To respond to the truth To the love in you To the joy of infinity This is ME (Funny thing is, I don't think I read Shivoham by Adi Shankaracharya until after I'd written this. If you don't know it, here's a link with translation). You know what they say: (Knowledge breaks the chains of slavery)
Just for fun: how many famous femmes can you name check in this poem (there are ten to find in all). This one is from shakti, in her many forms, to the divine masculine. I wavered on one of the words when I was writing, but have settled for the less mischievous option here. If you spot it, and want to swap it - make it your own.... There are many aspects of the feminine to embrace, if only as potentialities. Not all of them are pretty, but they can all be awesome. If we repress and deny, we will only make our shadow body more powerful. If we find something we don't find 'acceptable' inside us, what can we do with it? What higher use can we put it to? Who is judging it as 'good' or 'bad' in the first place? Fiddle dee dee So what if I'm bad? What if I get goosepimply All over Would you come up sometime And be pleased to see me? Like a prayer I'll whisper to you softly To justify my love for you Would you meet me on a train Cross country? And will you trust this dark, dark horse Who has a taste for Bad romance? Acknowledge me: Don't make me your Enemy I'm better than your wildest dreams Chinnamasta yoni veda I don't have all the answers But I sing because I have a song If I drown my sorrows Please forgive I love you more Than My own skin I am Sati Reborn I have no Money Time Or fame Yet with Singleminded- ness That scares me I am Making Myself Yours We have Enough love To heal The cosmos This is all I have To work with And the Air I breathe… Stop! Turns out This is quite A lot I'm having a Pointer Sisters moment. So much great shakti energy. If I ever have an ashram, it's going to have a disco room where you can go and boogie 24/7. A big spa pool with turquoise waters and a waterfall. A quiet room with walls covered in inspirational quotes. Lots of green grass. But I'll start with the disco room :) Anyone coming? Said Shiva to Shakti..... (Chuckle) 'We'll go all the way to heaven' The places you make love to me
In blind sight The plump pillow that catches my cheek Wilting my will The bliss of stillness Kissing with tingles The low ache of pleasure Caressing my back Losing myself In each asana Sharp pleasure of presence Your brush at my curl Behind my ear The songs you play For all to hear While I quietly weep The little smile we share The cool water you offer My heart For air The giddy barefoot lightness Of freedom When I'm wearing my shoes The way you cover me While I sleep The languor of laying with you Breaking from working The emptiness I dedicate to you The constant peace Of a moment shared The tear of ecstasy When I close my eyes And breathe The inner sigh Can anyone see? These are the places You make love to me My first post!
This poem was inspired by many different things - pictures of yogis wearing little but a loin cloth with no thought for poor women of a sensitive constitution, the jokes shared with the inner beloved, my own experiences meditating. Give me a camera, and I'll be there.... |
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Tantra Mataji | confidence - freedom - passion |